The other morning, as I compared stories of Jesus healing people in Luke 7, I became frustrated. One scene, He is recognizing a centurion’s great faith and choosing to heal his servant because of the faith he displayed. Another scene, there is nothing mentioned about faith at all, yet Jesus healed a widow’s son and brought him back to life because He had compassion on her. The end result was the same, but He followed no pattern. There was no “Standard Operating Procedure” to be healed.
In 1990, I was driving along the Indian River in Titusville, FL and was compelled to stop along this beautiful drive and take a walk on what would come to be known as “my dock.” I needed to talk to God and get some answers. Having just left an interview with the leadership of First Baptist Church, Merritt Island for a position as Children’s Minister, I was scared to death! Unsure of my ability to do the job, I was in search of direction from the Lord and assurance that I was not alone.
I was giving God an ear-full before I ever reached the dock and after only a few steps, He clearly told me, “Throw your net on the other side.” Head hanging low in uncertainty, I had been looking into the water on the right side of the dock. He startled me at first and I questioned what He was saying when I heard Him again. “Throw your net on the other side.” It only took two or three steps toward the other side of the dock for me to see what God was trying to tell me.
Right there, in a ten foot radius, I saw the largest number of fish I had ever seen in my life. There were so many, it was as if they were crawling on top of each other. It was a live picture of when the disciples gathered the biggest catch they ever had, yet without the net. Peace melted away the fear and I knew immediately that I would take that job and God would be with me.
I returned to my dock many times and had countless conversations with the Lord, desperately wanting Him to speak to me in the same way that He had before. But He never did. There would be an assurance that everything would be alright, but He would not show me in the same way.
The last trip to my dock was in 2014. I was desperate to hear from God and to receive some healing from the divorce. I listed off the things I carried and cried out to Him with all the details. It was then He told me to, “Let it go!” I no longer had to lug around all the specifics in my head. I no longer had to be ready to defend myself by keeping dates and numbers and all the information needed to protect my family. I was free to let it all go!
Realizing it was finally safe to release all the details, I began to praise the Lord. As I reached the end of the dock, I stopped to take it all in: the river overlooking Kennedy Space Center’s VAB (Vehicle Assembly Building), the peacefulness of the moment, the beauty of God’s creation… Then I was amazed by Him all over again!
As I worshiped the Lord, my wondering gaze quickly stopped. Right before my eyes, there were at least a hundred flying fish! So many, jumping high and flying over the surface before entering the water again. They continued for such a long time – over and over as if celebrating and rejoicing.
In that moment, He spoke again, “It’s your time to fly. Arise My Love!” All that had been holding me down and making the road difficult, I was now free to let it go. I was amazed at His love and intimacy as He wrapped me in His arms in that moment!
Today, as I face a large decision with many unknowns, I was reminded that God will not be put in a box of having to perform and answer me in the same way each time. He likes creativity, but I want the security of uniformity. There can be no confidence in a pattern from the past. No resting in, “I know how this works.” No self-reliance because I can remember the path.
Our loving God longs for us to have fresh faith – daily trusting in the path He has chosen for us. He desires continued dependence on Him for each step, without instinctively doing the next thing. He yearns for our gaze to be upon Him, taking cues for our next move – when to go or when to stay – how fast or how slow – how high to step or when to stoop low. Our faith can rest in His ability to see the big picture.
“Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you – rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! Isaiah 60:1 (AMPC)